When divorce rocks the matrimonial home

We’ve all heard of people who stay in an unhappy marriage for the sake of the kids. But what about staying married for the sake of the house? It may sound crazy, but many of us have deep rooted attachments to our homes. They hold memories – some happy, others sad, but all meaningful. It can be scary to contemplate leaving the place where, more than any other, we feel we belong.

 That said, few of us would advise our friends to remain in a bad marriage simply to keep their beloved house. The latest Canadian study shows that 40 per cent of first marriages end in divorce. That’s a lot of people facing the same tough decisions about what to do with the “matrimonial home”, as it’s known in the legal profession. Some can afford to stay in the same dwelling, but sadly, many cannot. Couples may even find themselves in a custody battle of sorts, when neither partner wants to give up the family home. And then there are others who are all too eager to move out and make a fresh start.

Should you find yourself in one of these unfortunate, yet ever so common, situations, here is what you need to know. In Ontario, the Family Law Act states that the full value of the matrimonial home should be divided equally between you and your ex. It doesn’t matter whether one of you bought the home prior to your marriage, whether it was left to one of you in a will, or whether only one name is on the title. The only exception to this 50/50 split occur when a pre-nuptial agreement exists, or when the court finds unusual circumstances that make such a split unfair.

 There are many things to consider here – finances, logistics, emotional attachments and chiefly the children in these situations. Part of you may be ready to move, but you question the wisdom of uprooting your children from everything they know.  In all cases, these decisions require a great deal of soul-searching as well as professional advice from your lawyer, mortgage broker and real estate agent.  Remember that these situations are common and that talking to a professional is the best decision you can make for yourself and your family.

Selling the home to a third party is often the best scenario from both a financial and an emotional perspective. (Resentment can certainly build when one partner witnesses the other still living in the family home.)  By the same token, it can be difficult for divorcing partners to sit down with a real estate agent and calmly discuss matters such as the listing price and negotiating tactics. A good agent will guide you through this process with minimal discomfort and help serve as an objective voice.

Whatever path you do choose, make every attempt to embrace this chance to have a new beginning, and a happier home.

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Marnie Bennett is the marketing consultant for Bennett Property Shop Realty, a full premium service real estate brokerage specializing in marketing and selling new and resale homes, condominiums and investment real estate. Marnie is the host of the weekly radio show the Real Estate Hour, a millionaire real estate investor and a wealth management coach. bennettpros.com